Life’s hard isn’t it?

“He will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)

I’ve been through my fair share of hard times. I can pretty much guarantee that you have too. Hard times can vary from person to person, it can range from struggling to pay your bills, a toxic job, to having a loved one die. Whatever the situation, large or small, the main thing is that it left you feeling sad, down and uncertain.  

When I’ve been through hard times, I’ve felt all the emotions- confusion, sadness, worry, rejection and anger. Like you I’ve had times when I’ve asked why is all this happening? If you have asked yourself why does it feel like you are constantly being punished? Then you may have come up with some explanations. Below are three reasons that I believe cause us to go through hard times.

1. People are just bad.

Trauma can make us really question why bad things happen to us. If we believe in a higher power then we may start to question why God let these things happen. Why do you struggle to have enough money to put food on the table? Why did God let that man hurt you? Why did God let those kids bully you at school? Why does God let them treat you like that? Why did God let your mom, child or best friend die?

"For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another". (Galatians 5:13)

We can question God so much that we start to think that God is the problem. I say this because unfortunately I did this at one point in my life. However rather than focus on placing the blame on God, it is useful to think about the concept of free will. Free will is God letting us make decisions independent of Him. People have been given free will and they deliberately choose to do bad things and harm people. God loves us all so much that He has given us the choice to live life in the way He wants us to but He won’t force us.

God has done this since he created Adam and Eve. They were given free will when they had the choice to not eat the fruit from the forbidden tree… and we know how that ended…

“He Lord God said, “The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.”” (Genesis 3:22)

So going back to the question of why these painful things happened to you or are currently happening to you. The answer is in the first three chapters of the Bible. In the first chapter of Genesis, everything was all good, there were no issues. God Himself said “it was good”, after he created something. However by chapter 3, that was all undone. This was because Adam and Eve were disobedient to God by not listening to God’s instruction, however the key thing is they had the choice and they chose to not listen. Their disobedience meant that sin and darkness entered the world. Prior to this everything was perfect, there was no trauma and no death. However,  this darkness brought deceit, abuse, trauma, illnesses, crimes and death into the world. Throughout the Old Testament there are accounts of God sending prophets to try and get people to turn from bad behaviour but most didn’t listen. 

Unfortunately as we are all naturally driven to some sinful thoughts, some people use their free will to put those sinful thoughts into action; and this is why that person let you down or hurt you. Not because God wanted to hurt you for no reason, no it was because that person chose to use their free will to cause you pain or lie to you. That child died, not because God wanted it to happen but because the result of sin entering the world. Adam and Eve listening to the devil rather than God, means we have illness and death in the world because the world stopped being perfect. 

2. We make bad decisions

"There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death” (Proverbs 14:12)

Being of Jamaican descent, growing up I always heard elders blaming everything on the devil. You crashed your car, the devil did it, you stumped your toe, the devil did it! While it is VERY true the devil can try to cause chaos in people’s lives to keep them separated from God (I’ll do a separate blog post on this and spiritual warfare in the future). Not everything bad that happens to us is because of the devil. Sometimes it's our own fault because we make bad decisions. 

Our flesh makes us think we know best, even when God shows us clear signs of the path to take and the decisions to make. He gives clear signs of what we need to give up, in a way that we personally would understand. However, we ignore it because our way is more convenient, more fun or provides more money. Then when it goes wrong, we get mad at life, mad at God or blame the devil, when really it was just that we thought we knew better than God and made a bad decision.

“And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us”. (1 John 5:14)

This is the reason why the prayer that Jesus taught us says “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done”. Notice it doesn’t say “Sarah’s will be done”, it doesn't say “Some of God’s will and some of Keisha's will be done”. However, a lot of times people use God like a genie. Let's use applying for a job as an example, you search and see two jobs, the first one really gets your attention, then you notice the second one is paying a lot more. You get an interview for both. The job interview for less pay was surprisingly easy considering you have no experience in that field and the environment felt like a right fit for you. When you go to the interview for the job with more pay, the interview is tougher and you feel the culture isn’t the right fit for you but the pay is so good, you feel you can overlook that. 

You really want the higher paying job so you pray asking God for that job, even though God never wanted you to apply for it. 

Another example is that you pray that the guy who left you, comes to their senses and comes crawling back to you, even though God heard the conversation that man had about you that you didn’t hear. Therefore, God sent them away. So no matter how much you pray to get him back God won’t give him to you. 

So what do we do? We take matters into our own hands. Going back to the job example, it’s clear God paved the way for you to get the less paying job that you have no experience in because He knows the plan He has for you. He knows that it will lead you to something bigger in the future. However you choose YOUR will, which is money over God’s plan. Resulting in you applying for a job you weren’t meant to. So when you get two job offers, rather than praying for God's guidance on which one to take, you just thank God that you have got a job with considerably more money. So you use your free will and take that job over the better suited God willed one, then within 6 months you are miserable working in a toxic environment because of the decision YOU made.  

With the relationship example, again you take matters into your own hands and go and get you man back. Fast forward and you are miserable because of the decision YOU made.  

So when we pray we are asking for God’s decision to happen, not ours. When we are obedient to God even when it makes no sense at the time, He will never let you down. 

3. Rejection

   
   

“Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.” (Psalms 27:10)

One of the worst feelings is rejection, it can feel like a punch to the gut. When we are rejected by family, friends, partners, acquaintances, work colleagues, jobs, your place of worship or your local community it can be heartbreaking, traumatising even. 

Two biblical stories that help me deal with rejection are the stories of Joseph and Ruth. 

Joseph was rejected by his own brothers through jealousy. They initially wanted to kill him and eventually sold him into slavery. However God never left Joseph and continued to protect him. As mentioned earlier Joseph’s brothers used their free will to bring Joseph trauma through rejection. However God used His grace to allow the rejection to be used towards Joseph’s calling, which was for him to have authority of Egypt. You can read more about Joseph in Genesis 37-50.

In the book of Ruth, Ruth faced the death of her husband and then the rejection of a potential husband because he was worried he would lose his inheritance due to the laws of the time. However like Joseph, God used his grace on Ruth, to allow her rejection to be used towards her calling. Therefore He gave her Boaz to marry. Their son Obed was an ancestor of Jesus. Therefore the rejection Ruth had led to the birth of King David’s grandfather, which continued the bloodline to Jesus, our Saviour. This wouldn’t have happened if Ruth had not married Boaz.

So the motto I live by is that man's rejection is God’s protection!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

God’s Protection

Struggles will happen in  life. We can't avoid it, it’s part of the world we live in. We can try and reduce struggles by leaning into God’s will, not ours. When we do encounter struggles remember that if you have Jesus in your life then God will help you through it, protect you and most importantly he will never leave you… but remember that you have to use your free will and choose to invite Jesus in, in order for God the Father to act on your behalf, fight for you and protect you. 

For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.” (Deuteronomy 20:4)

Remember, if you can praise Him in what's trying to break you, then He will get you to your breakthrough!